New beginnings…

2008 was a pretty shitty year for me in some ways.  It started off on a bad note with my accident on January 26, 2008.  Right off the back I had wrecked my vehicle and spent the next six months getting poked at, sliced open, rehabbing and choking down a daily bushel of prescription medications .  My wife would shake her head at me every time she walked past with that “look at what the hell you did to yourself” look.  I couldn’t even be mad…I felt useless as hell.  Now that’s love….when your women is willing to bring a cup to your beside to pee in because by the time you maneuver your crippled ass to get out the bed you would’ve wet yourself.  Then in August some “drive-by shooters” broke up in my spot and tore the joint up….bastards!  But when your at the bottom ain’t no where to go but up…
In 2009 I want to reconnect with my spiritual essence.  Me and my boy Jesus go way back….we’ve been through a lot but I must confess we haven’t chatted in a while and I miss him.  He’s a good brother.  I want to be a better husband because my dedication to my marriage is a journey and I got my hard hat on and sleeves rolled up…I stay on the matrimony grind!  Hell…if you want a chance at peace and joy you have to.  She’s my rib, my love, my friend.  I remember when I first saw her walking around campus with her hair all did up and this bag ass Coach bag that was bigger than her…I thought she was going to tip over.  And then there I was a skinny dude with a fetish for Jordan’s, Mad Dog 20/20 and loose cigarettes….who’d a thunk it.  I want to be a better father….I want to live up to the “super dad” title my son has placed on me.  It’s amazing how he thinks I can move mountains and for him I’ll move heaven and earth.  It’s unexplainable the way he has changed my life and without him I wouldn’t even want to be here…and that’s real.  His smile, his mood changes, his smart mouth, his inquisitive mind, the frown he gets on his face when I tell him no (which is rare as hell), the trips to Toys R’ Us, the pride he feels (as well as the somersaults and back flips by his parents) when he makes the honor roll, his love of Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Pokemon, Digimon, Bakugon, dinosaurs and ani mals our the precious moments that give me purpose.  In the end I just want to BE.  BE amazed, BE purposeful, BE passionate, BE loving, BE insightful, BE strong, BE joyous, BE unyielding, BE unmoved, BE challenged, BE a friend, BE irreplaceable, BE dedicated, BE unsatisfied….BE ME!
 
Peace & Love!