I ain’t DJ’ing another damn wedding!…

     The hardest thing about DJ’ing weddings is it’s very difficult to find a groove.  Most DJ’s know that creativity lies in the freeness of the music and the crowd reaction.  When I’m in my zone and I have the ability to put songs together uninhibited…it is the pinnacle of the experience.  But when I have to stop and take request….”my momma said can you play that new Beyonce “ and a different song for the bouquet toss, the Babies Momma Dance, the 1^st Dance, shit can get old real quick.

            I recently did a wedding about a week ago and it was the typical drill.  There were 9 coordinators but only one person knew what the hell was going on.  They wanted me to announce all the activities which I refused to do…I mean…when you see the Bride & Groom walking toward the cake table with a cake cutter what the hell do you think they’re about to do…duh.  And if I see another bridesmaid with a big as tattoo of a rose on her left tittie I will scream…that shit is not sexy.  I played some jazz while folks were beatin’ up the free meal… mixed in a little ol skool and had heads noddin’.  After the meal and bouquet toss/bumrush and all the preliminary bullshit it was finally my time to do the damn thing.  The age groups at most weddings are so diverse so it’s hard to find a groove and incorporate everyone so I say fuck it and just play what I like…oh…and I’ll play whatever the Bride & Groom want to hear as well…after all they are paying a brotha.  I had the privilege to have several conversations with the Bride before the festivities to see what her musical I.Q. and taste were about.  I was surprised and pleased at her diverse taste and knowledge of music…she liked everything from Seal to The Alan Parsons Project to MC Lyte to T-Pain.

            I started off with a little “Vapors” by Biz Markie then I hit ‘em with “Paper Thin” by MC Lyte and then slid off into “I Ain’t No Joke” by Eric B. A Rakim.  Of course since this is Chi-Town the “Steppers Capital of the World” I had to oblige.  I hit ‘em with some “Can I Touch You There” by Michael Bolton then we got into the “Butterfly Remix” by Michael Jackson w/ Eve.  Now it’s about 9:30pm on a Sunday and I’m bouncin’ out this piece at 10:00pm so I decide to take ‘em back to the days of Saucers’, Mendel Bi-Level, the Music Box and the Bismarck Hotel and go deep.  Now I’m in my element playing the grooves that I love and can get lost in…the spirituality of house music is a beautiful thing.  The dance floor is packed and a brotha is puttin’ the tunes together.  All of a sudden I feel a tap on my shoulder and low and behold some ol’ crusty dude is standing there trying to ask me shit.  I’m like “dude what the fuck do you want…don’t you see I’m busy man!”  “Hey DJ, me and my lady want to step so can you put on some steppin’ music?”  I said “dude, I get 30 people giggin’ on the dance floor to the house music and you want to me to change it up so you and your lady can dance?!  WTF!  How ‘bout y’all dance to the shit I’m playing now.”  I can’t stand that shit…coming to DJ booth like what YOU want to hear is the only thing that matters.  My equipment, my songs = I play what the hell I want…so beat it!  So today I solemnly submit my resignation…It’s a wrap on them weddings for ya boy!