From a Brother to a Sister
There have been so many conversations about the fate and subsequent reality of black manhood. They tend to run the gambit from “black men are shiftless, black men are undereducated, black man are influenced too much by the hip hop culture and have embrace the art of thuggery, black men do not take care of there responsibilities” and so on and so forth. While some of these traits do exist in a percentage of black men, and for that matter every other culture on the planet, they do not describe or represent the entire species of black men but for some reason we are pegged with this burden from birth no matter what successes you achieve in life. Though these conversations are necessary the thing I can’t understand is that a lot of these discussions are started and ended by black woman. A black woman trying to understand the nuisances of “black mandom” is like a post office worker trying to undertake the complexities of nuclear physics…hence, the shit just don’t mix. These are the same women screaming “there aren’t any good men” but are willing to date Tyrone serving red tops at the end of the block so you can get your nails and hair done and a few outfits. These are the same women with six babies and six baby-daddies’s and wonder why the possible 7th bounces quick fast and hurry. These are the same women searching for a husband in a nite club on “Shake it Fast Tuesdays” and gets upset when he turns more ghost than Casper after he “stabs”. Maybe, just maybe, the problem ain’t black men but the phucked up choices made by black women. And who said you were quality enough for a quality brother? The real problem is that black women have become “Oprahfied” and love to give advice to there sista-girls on what they should or shouldn’t be doing to keep, get, scheme, dismantle, get over, capture a black man. The whole situation is asinine because why would you take love advice from Shanika the hairdresser who judges a successful relationship by the amount of shit she can acquire from a dude and who is damn near 40 years old and can do the “Chicken Noodle Soup” dance mellifluously…something is wrong with that picture. And while I’m at it, let’s address this myth of the successful black women. Times have definitely changed and women have made strives in every facet of society but the one thing a black woman can not shake is that urge to buy that Prada or Gucci bag or whatever the hottest shit is out, that she saw in the window downtown. Never mind the bag costs about 3 mortgage payments…this broad is determined…you go girl! Sista girl is pulling in $60-70,000.00 a year but got $50,000.00 worth of credit card, student loan debt. Its true brothas have a long way to go but we won’t get to the promise land any faster with meddling, irresponsible sistas all in the Kool-Aide.
-Stephen Cosey-
10/17/2006
First I would like to address the beginning of your story. Those things/stereotypes about black men were not started by the black woman. You seem to be extremely angry and this is so stereotypical of you. You are speaking about one particular group of women; this is not all black women. Myself being half-white as well, happen to know how much a white woman loves a Prada or Gucci bag herself. Now if I was ignorant such as yourself, I would say that all white men don’t mind pampering their women with such gifts. See we black woman have no choice but to be independant. This as no surprise, stems all the way back from slavery. Families were broken up, torn apart, brothas being lynched in front of our faces, and we as black men and women were being degraded. Through so many generations, it has been hard to change some of those things that we were taught so long ago. There are black women with attitudes and there are white women with attitudes. There are a lot of white women that act like they have no home training. Due to racism and other socioeconomic factors in this country, we have had to struggle. It took me a long time to understand why white women seem to go after black men who are well established. See their fathers reared them to have only the best, certain living circumstances will not suffice when it comes to their daughters. They are placed on a pedestal, and will accept nothing less. Due to social factors and lack of financial support, a lot of black fathers have not been in the home. See black man, you as well are a part of the problem. Do not blame this whole situation on a few ghetto-minded people. Mind you, when I say ghetto I am not talking about a person’s living conditions. Like Tupac said, ghetto is a state of mind. White women back stab, white women are loud-mouthed, white women ask their hairdresser for advice, and white women like money. My mother used to say it’s 6 of one and half dozen of the other. Meaning it’s the same thing. Now the approach is different, but the end result is the same. See, we sistas are up-front with what we want; however, just because a white woman “appears” more docile, trust me, she wants your money too. A white woman might not tell you to your face that you are lame in the bedroom, but you best believe her mom, aunt, and girlfriends know you are. Same difference: it’s a preference of upfront or behind your back. See, I could do this all day because I am mixed and know how it feels to be treated a certain way. Brotha, I would suggest that you read your history. Be careful of who the author is though. Make sure it’s your story and not “his” tory. Good luck.